In recent months I was asked to edit a manuscript for the initial article writer. It had good writing. It had a good plot. It had interesting characters. But also for some reason it just made me personally feeling flat. While talking about one scene with mcdougal, the reason became clear. Cameraman nunta
The writer said, “As Harry passes down the stairs, the camera pans left… very well
“What did you just say? ”
He commenced again. “As Harry comes down the stairs, the camera pans left… inches
“That’s the problem! inch
This wasn’t a movie script I was editing. This was a novel. We went back and read again the first part of the manuscript. The points were vivid and the dialog was witty, but indeed the author composed it as if this individual were a cameraman observing the complete story unfold. Generally there was no dramatic expression. There were no areas where the thoughts of the characters were being shared. Sight was the dominant sense used.
In that case about a month before, I was hired to edit another manuscript. On this occasion I immediately saw the cameraman in action. The author detailed every solitary movement of his main character, but I never knew what having recently been thinking. Also, if if you’re a writer who battles with too much term count, you may very well be a cameraman copy writer. You don’t have to describe every single step and movement your figure makes – after a handful of chapters it gets fairly tedious for your target audience.
Sort of cameraman:
Plug walked in the steps of the aging brownstone. This individual put the key in the lock, turned it, and then pushed open the doorway. As he went into the foyer, Skippy greeted him with a violently wagging tail. This individual patted the mutt, and then put his take some time on the table. This individual entered the kitchen and took a glass from the cupboard. The tequila bottle had been seated on the counter. This individual filled the glass half way and then took a long pull on the amber liquid.
Example of character:
Jack entered the brownstone and was immediately accosted by Skippy. The friendly greeting was a welcome treat after the meeting he had just had with Janet. This individual poured himself a drink from the whiskey container still sitting on the counter. The whiskey burned up, but is not as much as the words of his ex-wife.
With the mécanicien example, we get an idea Jack may be upset because he chose the whiskey, but if we’re not in his head, we don’t know why.
Being the smoothness rather than the cameraman can help you avoid common point-of-view mistakes. Very few authors write from the omniscient standpoint, and those who do generally don’t do it very well. Many scenes are told from the POV of one character, so be that character.
Being a mécanicien may be considered a good way to start out your manuscript, or to produce a first draft, but if which all you do your story stays one dimensional. Go back and add the layers of audio, taste, touch, feeling, and emotions. You created these characters. Tell us what they’re thinking. Let them breath!